Masterful reply from a helpline

Hi All!

This is a reply to an email I sent a helpline (they also provide email responses). It took them 5 days to reply HOWEVER I think their response was thought about in detail. I can only assume that they prioritise severe cases with less severe ones, giving thought to replies rather than rushing.

I was VERY impressed by their response. Even though I've done CBT in the past I feel their response reminded me about some area I could improve on.

Here is the email I sent them:

Hi

I often get extremely traumatic emotions arise, seemingly for no reason, i.e. they can surface for several hours even when I'm in a safe place. I also have no obvious thoughts that accompany these emotions that can be helped using CBT techniques. I merely have to 'ride the storm' often for several hours until the severe trauma eases, often through exhaustion of being unable to asleep, at this stage I will sleep and in the morning the emotions have reduced a bit. The emotions also subside if I speak to people about what's on my mind and what is worrying me.

I have been let down again and again by the healthcare system. It seems only people that:

a) don't try to improve their health (i.e. those that give in to their mental health and become severe).

b) those that attempt suicide.

Sadly the reason suicide is used by so many people as a call for help is that the many many times they've asked for help, the help has either been ignored, not heard, or useless. Suicide is merely a reflection of the support within society completely failing. Preventative care seems lacking :(

I had to threaten my GP surgery and the mental health team with legal action to at least get them to take me seriously. Has it really come to this, that people who need help only have two options:

1. Attempt suicide OR

2. Threaten legal action!!!!!

Is that how deaf modern society is to the cries of help from millions of people around the world!? It seems that way!!! Unless I attempt suicide I will not get the support I need! Shocking!

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Comment on my email from myself while writing this blog - so it seems I was offloading anger here but also wanting some insight in to the traumatic emotions that sometimes surface.

Here is their response:

SANE

Providing emotional support and information to anyone affected by mental illness

Dear Mike,

Thank you for your message. I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a hard time, both with managing the difficult emotions you describe and dealing with your disappointments with the healthcare system. I can hear a lot of anger and frustration in your message and I can imagine that this may be very difficult to cope with alongside the intense emotions you are feeling. I hope this email can provide you with a space to feel listened to and supported.

You say that you are experiencing periods of extremely traumatic emotions that last for several hours and leave you feeling exhausted. It seems that the idea of thoughts being attached to these emotions is something that you have considered before although you don’t think there is a connection. You do say however that these emotions are reduced if you discuss what is worrying you and on your mind. I wonder if you have given some thought as to whether your worries have any impact on the emotions you describe. Even though worries or thoughts may not accompany your intense emotions immediately or at the same time, it may be possible that your worries are an underlying factor that are not unrelated to what you’re experiencing. Perhaps the reason you find some relief in talking to others about what’s on your mind is because you have an opportunity to share some of the intensity of your experiences and this may help to decrease those powerful emotions that have been building up inside you.

I get the impression that you have a real sense of wanting to manage your health and prevent it from deteriorating. You say that you have been in contact with your GP and a mental health team but it’s not clear exactly what support you have been offered. I understand that you may be feeling ignored and not heard by the healthcare system. However, I sense that despite your frustrations, you do feel that getting the right support is what you need at this moment in time.

I can sense your frustration that you feel the only way to be heard in the mental health system is to attempt suicide or threaten legal action. I sense you don’t wish to do either of these things and just want to be heard and listened to. I am glad you contacted SANE as I hope we can continue to provide a space for you to support you emotionally for as long as you need it.

Although you mention that you have used CBT techniques, it doesn’t seem that you have had a positive experience with this or found it valuable. However, I wonder if you have considered the possible benefits that CBT therapy can provide. For example, it may help you to find ways of letting go of worry. Even though you have stated that there are no obvious thoughts accompanying the traumatic emotions you have mentioned, you may find that dealing with hidden, underlying worrying thoughts may help to reduce these periods of severe trauma. It is not clear if you have tried CBT on your own or with a therapist, but I wonder if you would reconsider accessing this form of therapy in the future. You may also like to speak to your doctor about any other talking treatments that may be available to you if CBT isn’t right for you.

It is worth pointing out that although waiting lists on the NHS can be long; free or low-cost counselling is provided by a number of charities and voluntary organisations. Your location is not stated in your email, but if you get in touch with us again and give us your details we may be able to put you in contact with these services in your local area if you think you may benefit from this.

I hope that this reply has been supportive. Please do keep in touch by replying to this email. We are always here to listen and offer support in the best way we can.

Best wishes,

SANEmail Volunteer.

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I feel their response also made me not feel guilty for offloading my anger.

I also felt LISTENED TO.

The largest lesson I learned from them is that maybe the thoughts I often have might slowly build up anxiety over time. This anxiety can then perhaps grow and grow until I eventually blow a fuse and have a full on panic attack. Therefore I should try and apply CBT more often, and practise mindfulness to be more aware of these thoughts. If I can lessen these thoughts, or at least lessen their effect, then maybe the panic attacks and traumatic emotions will subside.

Any thoughts?

Another lesson to all I think is that it IS worth talking to a helpline that specialises in the mental health condition you have. I used to call Samaritans, however they never really gave me any good insight. Samaritans does have it's use of course. Just a thought! If you want insight talk to an expert! ;-)

A note to everyone - don't feel ashamed opening up to a helpline.